Almost everyone who has attended a Christian church for any length of time is familiar with the parable of the talents, found in Matthew 25:14-30. The parable is an admonition about wasting talent, or failing to walk in the mandate for one’s life. Churches often teach that this is to be applied directly to serving the local church congregation. Others pursue opportunities to showcase their skills or talents “for the glory of God” but are actually seeking recognition, fame, and financial gain, under a spiritual cloak. I don’t believe that all callings are related to a local church, and the pursuit of fame of any sort is the pride of life–anyone saying otherwise is willfully dishonest with themselves and everyone else. Certainly God knows the intent of the heart–and anything done for self will not be rewarded, or bear legitimate fruit, regardless of what “ministry” veneer is presented to the rest of the world.
I have been under conviction for months about wasted talents. I started this blog over seven years ago, to share lessons learned from my experiences, but have failed to follow through for several reasons: fear of employers, fear of local witch covens, and allowing the cares of life (jobs) to deplete my mental reserves until there was nothing left to devote to anything real. I have spent the previous eight years miserable because I was not truly walking in anything I was called to do. I was too afraid of retaliation and rejection, and just too tired of dealing with trials to get moving.
After years of praying, and worrying about resources to do everything I am supposed to do, I am convicted that ultimately, it is my responsibility to begin to do what I am supposed to do. And by that, I mean what I am really supposed to do–not accepting the self-serving agendas or false prophecies of others, or worrying about how to make it all happen. The Word says that “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.” Proverbs 29:25. If I believe, according to Psalm 138:8, that “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me,” then how am I worrying that I will be ashamed or fail, or not be given the resources? I say this not as an end-of-year resolution, but I am realizing that my misery is in many ways the result of my own failure to follow through on things–writing, ministry, music. I have a feeling there are many others dealing with the same internal conflict–praying, but not moving, because we don’t immediately see the way forward.
When, according to Luke 5:27-32, Jesus told Levi the tax collector “follow me,” the scripture says “Levi got up, left everything, and followed him.” It never says that Levi argued about whether or not he would be fired, or people would be mad at him, or he would fail at whatever he was being called to do. I have come under conviction that my submission to fear, confusion, and apathy is a sin. If I do not do that which I am supposed to do, it is a sin. I am praying for an increase of faith, boldness, and provision to walk in my mandate. I pray for revelation, faith, boldness, and provision for anyone else struggling. The time is short, and we must work while it is still day. Blessings!